It's Okay to Need Help
It's hard to ask for help sometimes. It involves admitting you have a problem, placing your trust in someone else, and risking disappointment if the person you ask can't help you or doesn't understand. When you admit you need help, you are admitting that you're not strong enough on your own – but that's okay. God made Adam a partner for a reason. No one should ever be alone.
For so long I struggled with anxiety and OCD without telling my doctor, not because I was afraid to tell him, but because I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be strong enough to overcome my weaknesses and not let my weaknesses overcome me. But in not allowing myself to ask for help, I allowed my anxiety to worsen and my OCD to continue. Because I wasn't seeking help, I wasn't getting better.
For some reason, we as a people find it difficult to seek help and healing when it comes to mental or emotional wounds, even though they are just as real and can be just as painful as physical wounds.
I didn't want to think that I wasn't strong enough, and I was afraid that my doctor wouldn't be able to help me...and I was afraid that would mean that there would be no hope for me, that I'd be broken forever. I let my fears keep me from asking for help.
I waited until the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I lived in complete fear and despair. Sleeping was my only escape. When I was asleep, I couldn't think about my fears. I was free; I was safe. When I woke up in the morning, it would start all over again. I distinctly remember looking out of a window and seeing how beautiful it was outside and thinking about how I wanted to be happy; it was too perfect a day to not be happy. But I became even more depressed when I realized that I should be happy but didn't think I ever could be again.
I'm here to tell you what I wish someone had told me: it does get better. You can be happy again; you can find healing-but you may first need to ask for help. Don't let fear hold you back from finding healing. A wound, when left untreated, can become infected and poison the whole body. One small wound can lead to death when it's ignored. It becomes more and more painful until you sometimes you can't feel anything at all. Don't confuse numbness with healing. Sometimes the pain goes away for short periods of time so we decide we are healed and don't need help. Don't fall into this trap.
Because I wanted to get better, I allowed myself to admit that I had a problem that I could not fix on my own. That was the first step to finding healing–that and reminding myself that God loves me and can help me through anything, even what seems impossible to man. Am I now without anxiety and challenges? No, but I have improved so much. I'm laughing again and smiling again, and crying about dumb problems again. And now that I have been helped, I am able to help other people, most importantly by having a positive attitude and bubbly personality. Now it's time for you to find healing too!
